Ten Outrageous Kardashian Scandals

January 29, 2014

1. The Feet

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One thing we learned when Kim was pregnant is that she is all-too human. This was no stick figure with a basketball tummy pregnancy for her. She ballooned in ways that shocked everyone, most of all herself. In a move that can only be described as denial.

Kim shoved her extremely bloated feet into sleek stilettos that would be hard to slip into on a normal, non-pregnant summer day. She probably hadn’t made it into the entrance of the building she was walking into before the picture of her poor, unfortunate squashed feet had made headlines around the world.

2. 72-hour Day Wedding

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According to gossip rag Radar Online, Kim wanted to marry an athlete, and NBA b-baller Kris Humphries “won” the prize. Seemingly marital bliss quickly turned and soured into marital blah following the multimillion-dollar wedding that was allegedly bankrolled by sponsors. At the end three-and-a half months, there was nothing left but a bewildered and bitter Humphries and a Kardashian that had already moved on.

3. 2013 US Weekly Bikini Photo Photoshop Brouhaha

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Kim Kardashian gave her fans an early Christmas present when she showed off her post-baby body. It was her way to show the world that she was back! She claimed that the photos of her ultra-fit body were snapped without her knowledge, but Photoshop sleuths quickly broke down all the shadings and brush strokes that proved that the pictures were actually photoshopped. Kardashian denied any knowledge of this, but rumors are abound that Kim worked closely with a photo agency to “create” the pics.

4. That Met Gala Dress

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Even if you believe that Kim Kardashian is the antichrist, it was hard not to feel sorry for her when she showed up at Vogue’s Met Gala dressed in what will forever be referred to as the “grandma’s couch cover” dress. The apparently Anna Wintour-sanctioned dress was the only way she was getting into the event she had previously been banned from, and she wore it like a trooper. Not only was the dress universally panned, but she was even cut out of boyfriend Kanye’s photo for his best-dressed win. Ouch.

5. Charity Shmarity

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It was pretty nice of Kim to decide to donate the proceeds of an eBay auction to help the victims of Typhoon Haiyan in the Philippines. Not so nice to many people was the fact that the victims only ended up getting 10 percent of the proceeds, with Kardashian pocketing the rest for herself and “fees.”

6. Slave Owners?

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The Kardashians have an empire that ranges from clothes to shoes, and they’ve been accused by the executive director of the Institute for Global Labour and Human Rights of operating factories that hired workers as young as 16 and forcing them to work in deplorable conditions.

7. Was She Too Young?

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Younger sister Kendall Jenner’s modeling debut was kicked off with a bathing suit photo shoot that many people deemed inappropriate. Mama Kris was cool with it.

8. Facelifts FTW

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Kardashian matriarch Kris got into hot water with the Frownies anti-aging company when she had a pre-wedding facelift prior to Kim’s doomed marriage. The company was concerned that the facelift would tarnish its image. Kris said that the facelift had nothing to do with how her face looked. Sigh.

9. Playboy… Thanks, Mom.

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Kim Kardashian has allegedly revealed that only reason she did her 2007 Playboy spread is because her mother told her to do it, and that if it was up to her, she’d never have done it. She claims that her mother said that the family needed the publicity to launch their show.

10. W(hoa!) Magazine Photos

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If she thought Playboy was bad, Kim broke down in tears over the photos from her nude W Magazine shoot, which Kim feels were even more salacious than those from her Playboy shoot.